UPDATE ----------------------------------
OMG,. what a bunch of racist filthy asswholes!! After 1.5 months of announcements, about INTEL "LEVEL UP 2010" and SYNTH:Electropix,. INTEL has decided to "revoke the prize" and go back on our legal agreements, and "steal the prize" and my address and DHL documents. I'm not sure if it was even the REAL INTEL corporation at all,. telling me to "sever all ties from INTEL" on the telephone,. it sound like a complete lie. But never the less, they took down the announcement, and the prize has been stolen, and all telephone numbers that INTEL have given me don't work, and they will not answer e-mails. Maybe they will steal the game?? and sell it for $1 in CHINA. I hope they lose money proportional to the amount that they stole from me. If anyone sees SYNTH on a digital distribution in CHINA or KOREA with some other name on it,. let me know please,. I'd be really interested in that kind of thing.
AT LEAST the judges actually CHOSE SYNTH,. instead of someone else winning because of HACKERS, or INTEL corporations crimes. Thanks again, to the judges who actually chose SYNTH:electropix!!
DOWNLOAD version 1.616 today: at MODDB:
http://www.indiepubgames.com/game/SYNTH
or
http://www.moddb.com/games/synthtm/downloads
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Intel® Software Network
17 May 2010 ... I will upload INTEL a new version of SYNTH:Electropix, version 1.606 with "DAMSIN MUSIC MACHINE", which is working 100% great now, ...
software.intel.com/en-us/contests/levelup2010/entry_detail.php?... - Cached
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Congratulations to the winners in the professional category of ...
30 Nov 2010 ... I will upload INTEL a new version of SYNTH:Electropix ...
software.intel.com/.../congratulations-to-the-winners-in-the-professional-category-of-level-up-2010/?... - Cached
Show more results from intel.com
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YEAAHHH!!! synth video game takes home the first prize in "best game for a desktop" at INTEL LEVEL UP 2010,.
http://software.intel.com/en-us/blogs/2010/11/30/congratulations-to-the-winners-in-the-professional-category-of-level-up-2010/
-----------------------------------
Yip,. anyone who has heard of SYNTH(tm):ELECTROPIX video game, a 100% procedural content game by me, Rhys Paul Hovey, it's just won the "best game for a desktop" in the INTEL CORPERATION level up 2010 games contest, a major event for me. Intel corperation is HUGEMUNGENEZE :) And yes, I did the whole thing under pen name PAUL RICHARD, and clockspeed808@yahoo.ca, but the game demo exe, is SYNTH(tm):electropix with my name Rhys Paul Hovey on it, as well as the "BUILT ON SIN" 2500 word abstract.
Congratulations! You are a winner in the Intel Game Demo Challenge: Level Up 2010!
From:
"Lowry, Kelly M"
Add to Contacts
To: "clockspeed808@yahoo.ca"
4 Files Download All
Form W-8BEN instructions.pdf (44KB); Form W-8BEN.pdf (44KB); Form W-9.pdf (55KB); Level Up 2010 Game Demo Challenge Affidavit.doc (38KB)
Congratulations! Electropix has been chosen as the first place winner in the category “Best Game for a Desktop” in the Intel Game Demo Challenge: Level Up 2010. We had over 847 games registered from 32 countries this year. Your winning entry was selected based on specifics outlined by category in the official rules.
In order to claim a prize, you are required to sign an affadavit of eligibility and release that grants Intel® Corporation the right to use your executable program and your name and likeness for advertising and promotion without further compensation, except where prohibited. The specific legal information may be referenced in the official rules.
In addition to the affadavit, all U.S. citizens must complete and return Form W-9 and all non-U.S. citizens must complete Part 1 only of Form W-8BEN to prove foreign status.
Please complete and return the affadavit of eligibility and release and the Form W-9 or W-8BEN (Part1 only) within five (5) business days by prepaid courier post (FedEx, DHL or UPS) to the Intel address below or prize may be forfeited and awarded to an alternate winner.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Saturday, March 17, 2007
NOISE AGE (aka STATIC AGE) SCRIPT
(Luis Royo's Art)
NOISE AGE/STATIC AGECopyright © Rhys Hovey 2006-2007
DO NOT DUPLICATE IN ANY WAY, IN WHOLE OR IN PART, EXCEPT PRINTING FOR PERSONAL USE ONLY. I HAVE CONTACTED THE FBI AS WELL. THIS IS UNDER SUSPICION OF THEFT. “INFLUENCED BY” IS ALSO UNDER SUSPICION, AND HAS BEEN FOR SEVERAL MONTHS, OTHER CHARGES MAY APPLY.
CONTACT: 404 Hawks Ave, apt #8, Vancouver, B.C, rhyshovey@gmail.com
(comment on this blog with yours will work too!)
Introduction (required in some form, brief history of the transition and “optimizer“ 10 minutes, possibly voice over)
The year is 2020, scientists have invented the “implosion” bomb, they do initial tests. Soon after, purely for scientific research, they decide to pair together an nuclear implosion and explosion, and the world is ended in a microsecond. Fortunately for the human race, nearby aliens, “the Grey’s” (those really typical little aliens with the big eyes) had a pet thing for earth, and were watch dogging, they realized “the nothing” that would have been earth if they had not stepped in, just moments before.
They gathered all of the worlds important leaders into a dome like auditorium, to explain and show what exactly happened to the world microseconds after their experiment for “death fun”. Anyone who was any kind of a threat to this situation, was given a calm comfort halo, to settle them down, to sit and watch the transition, in peace and awe. The aliens were giving what they best described as “optimization”. Optimizer was a electro-organic truss, that filled the sky, featured panoramic displays, partitioned (in many views) and tentacle like branches that reached the earth to help advance the surroundings and govern (protect) us from ourselves and the 50000 years of technology that was to be dumped on our heads, all at once, instead of death for us all. “We are NOT god” they explained “You are undergoing destandardization instead of destruction”.
More description of Optimizer: AKA: Big “O”, “O”
(The optimizer was very much like a governing “nanny” able to do absolute surveillance, and does as it sees fit to help the people of earth along, including show news, and world achievements, and introduce technology on a one to one basis, it has a unique relationship with everyone on earth. There are literally millions of planets available from the buss route alone. If it were not for the optimizer many people feel that humans would not be able to adapt, it also acts as a teacher) It is important that it remain somewhat organic as well as electronic, showing it’s respect for human nature, and a desire for the preservation of things old as well.
NOTE: This is a work in progress, and has been updated and modified from original drafts and the plot altered somewhat on several occasions, to create what I feel is a higher budget and more marketable version, without a lot less focus on sexual themes, differing from my audio logs, and PLANET EUTROPICA, NOISE AGE: Generation Z, and CHAOS AGE, which was an alternate name, but it is still VERY much the same story.
NOISE AGE © 2006-2007 Rhys Hovey
Scene 1: Geary the Jim
Setting: Devon and Ralf are waiting at the magna-tram station, for “Geary the Jim” to show up. Geary’s voice come’s out as if it were overdubbed. It’s like Geary has one of those talk boxes that you hold up to your throat. He is a bit of an intimidating alien, but a friend.
Devon: (nods to address that Geary has gotten off the magna tram)
(Devon and Ralf walk over a bit to meet up with geary, devon smiles)
Devon: Geary! How you doing,..
Geary: Good man,… Tired,.. Ralf.
Ralf: Hey Geary
(Devon holds up a little “bagie”)
Devon: This is costing me my upper left hand corner in my kit, you know that. You know how I like my subdivisions.
Geary: Yeah, I know how you like your fuckin subdivsions, this thing was a pain in the ass to get (geary opens his backpack). Got it from an enthusiast, enemy of a friend of mine actually, something like you … ‘bit weird.
Devon: What about the comic? did you remember the comic?
Ralf: (Laughs)
Geary: Yeah,.. I got the fuckin comic. (sighs)
Devon: That’s part of the deal (retracts the baggie)
Geary: Whatever,.. Don’t sell it,.. If you sell it, sell it to me.
Devon: Alright,. Deal.
Geary: I gotta get home,… so well see ya,..
Ralf: Later Geary
(They start to walk)
Devon: Look at this shit (shows ralf the comic book cover)
Ralf: Oohh,.. Jim tity
Devon: She’s nice for a Jim, though.
Ralf: True
(They start walking out of the Magna tram station)
Ralf: Can I see the converter. (hands him the box)
Devon: Don’t take it out of the box though, it’s shielded.
Ralf: Thinks it’s worth your ,. “Balance”
Devon: No, probably not. I’m really fucking hoping this design works though man,… I’ve even had dreams on it.
Ralf: What d’you mean?
Devon: components and schematics
Ralf: this thing? (holds up the box)
Devon: Yup
Ralf: Her? (points at the comic)
Devon: oh yeah,. Big time, me and her,. I’m in that fucking thing.
(They are out in the city streets by this time)
A short foreshadowing of Sash, trading some homemade jewelry for food at a “organic food stand” (GROWN FOOD) she takes note of Devon and Ralf. The optimizer can be seen in the sky, after she “buys” the food, the optimizer displays a silhouette of her, the text “Grown food has been traded by a female of note” scrolls on one of the sections of the many screen divisions, with text in different languages scrolling up and down (Chinese).
Sash: I have this (show her some really cool black plasma jewelry)
stand girl: wow it’s beautiful,… can I see? Your so creative
Sash: Thanks
Stand girl: Do you want oranges again?
Sash: Yes
(She hands her a small berlap sack of oranges)
Stand girl: you can keep the bag too, it’s non-synthetic too.
Sash: I like it.
Scene 2: Warning from Big “O”
Setting inside of Devon’s apartment, first floor, windows almost all around it, above waist height, 30-40 stories high, so the optimizer is in plain view, through the windows. Junk all around in the room, it’s a bit of a mess.
Ralf: Do you have any more of that lemon water?
Devon: All kinds of it,.. have a seat, I’ll get you a glass.
Ralf: Thanks. (sits down at the kitchen table)
(devon opens the fridge)
O: INCOMEING ITEM
Devon: Ooh,... you read my mind, more fucking junk,.. DECLINE!
(The is a dumb waiter kind of thing at the window, and a track & trolley with box on it)
Ralf: at least its small
(picks up the box, and reads)
Devon: In leu of recent acquisitions,.. cobalt to CX converter,.. For crying out loud,.. I thought that thing was shielded. Fuck,..Ogre…
+ 1 technology score and the following techno-riddle.
Ralf: Techno-riddle?
Devon: Fuck, this is my second techno-riddle.
Ralf: What the hell is a techno-riddle?
Devon: This is the techno riddle (Devon opens up the box to reveal some gadget)
Ralf: you got to figure out that?
Devon: Last time I couldn’t avoid figuring out,.. IT.
Ralf: What’d O give you last time.
Devon: Something for slowing down that vehicle I was messing around with.
Ralf: Hahaha
Devon: Big ‘O’ was getting pretty pissed off about that one,… I thought was going to get grounded or something acutally.
Ralf: I thought you were gona get braced or something, holly shit. You almost killed that fuckin guy,.
Devon: (laughs a bit, shakes his head) Let this be a warning
O: + one knowledge score: Devon , the cobolt to CX converter has 6% danger.
Devon: ok, Mom! I will take note… big fucking conference at Devon’s,.. fuck 6%, (looks at Big ‘O’ out the window)
Ralf: sure you want to hook at up at 6%
Devon: Fuck it, I’ll put some safety around it or something.
NOISE AGE– scene 3: Introduction to Tramen
Temp name for rich and powerful character who discovers also shares the simultaneous trip“: Tramen Demargus
Setting: Lush futuristic “penthouse” with an optional hot tub like thing full, possibly one women in it, a small party is going on. Tramen is explaining to one of the girls (virgena) who has never tried Eutropica or T what it is and how to do it.
Virgena: I’m scared.
Tramen: Scared? There’s no need to be scared. ,.. tell her.
Girl #1: That stuff’s harmless.
Sim: Prepare to see space, from a whole new perspective.
Virgena smiles
Virgena: ok, then. (pause)
Tramen: Grab me a bit, Sim, will you dear.
Sim goes behind the bar and grabs a small decorative case and brings it to Tramen
Tramen: Since the beginning of history, man has felt the urge to fly. Yet ,despite our pathetic technology “we” remain slave to gravities pull. This my dear is payback, payback tenfold.
Tramen opens the box, and brings out a test tube looking thing, full of rainbow colored gas.
Virgena: Is that it? (pause) It’s pretty.
Tramen: So pretty in fact, that only the sight of itself is enough for it to fulfill its destiny.
Virgena: What d’ ya mean?
Tramen: Watch and learn. .
Tremen hands the test tube to Sim then reaches into the box and pulls out 2 mirrors, and puts one in each hand.
Tramen: Sim, could you do the honors.
Sim, opens up the test tube a bit in front of Tramen and Virgena, The gas spills out and kind of lingers in the air, Vergena looks amazed and exited. Tramen takes the two mirrors and holds it on each side of the cloud, then slowly the cloud starts to turn white.
Tramen: Breath it in.
Virgeena looks at him.
Tramen: Quick,.. just breath it in.
Virgena breaths it in, in a close up of her lips. She stares into space for a minute.
Tramen: Better get her arms.
Virgena starts to make a pleasure face, and starts to teeter back and forth.
Virgena: what the hell,..
Vigena starts to fall over with her eyes still open, almost rolling back into her head.
Sim: “what the hell” (laughs) The good old days.
The camera changes to be from Virgena’s eye position, and slowly shows her eyes close
And you see the room that she was in, go down in the camera, as if she were leaving her body.
Scene 4: The crappy converter
Setting: Devon‘s lower floor , Devon’s latest and greatest invention to stabilize synthetic veralium22 (Eutropica), is set up in the room. He is putting the cobalt converter in the rig.
(Camera: Extreme close up on Devon, so much so that it’s hard to recognize)
Devon: This is it man,… stable,… synthetic,… pure,… veralium-22.
Ralf: again?
Devon: shhhh! We’re on.
(takes his hands away to watch the results, it fizzles out)
Devon: Jesus fucking christ,...
Ralf: (At the same time) pppntnthh! (mouth fart noise)
(devon gets mad , maybe kicks something or uses “larry” the floating agro ball)
Devon: FUCK!
Ralf: Calm down man. It’s not your fault.
Devon: Yeah, well whose fault is it then huh?
Ralf: It’s That fucking thing there’s (points to machine) fault I think, “The Jims” you know they probly screwed you.
Devon: they didn’t.
Ralf: I think they did.
Devon: NO, they, Didn’t. It’s my fault, the design’s FUCKED as usual!
(Devon throws off his gloves or something onto the floor)
Ralf: Well,.. don’t worry about it man, you’ll fix it. No-one else can even get it synthesized for fuck’s sake, let alone, stable anyway,….Next time.
Devon: 5 years I’ve been working on this shit,… 5 years.
Ralf: you may have to get a completely new obsession,
Devon: (smiles and cheers up)
It’s gonna be good. I’m leaving this dump. I’m building
my own envirodome on Pluto. I‘m going to have Jim slaves,.. fucking bastards.
Ralf: (Ralf) Why Pluto anyway? I don’t get it, what’s your fascination with that ice- cube-factory.
(Ralf is going to the cupboards to get out some “real” Eutropica and sits it down on the table)
Devon: (A little intellectually insulted) Ice cube factory? S’that the best you can up with is ice cube factory,.. Ice cube factory? ,.. Pluto has more potential than this hole. The gravitational field alone makes it an ideal pump.
(devon goes to grab his T kit or box or collection of the substance, and some strange mirror rig that looks like a soup bowl, with honeycomb mirrors on it, with one missing every now and then)
Devon: Now my fuckin , upper left hand corners off balance.
Scene 4: introduction of Sash
Sash Description:
Sash is basically the undefined character of the 3. Kreen is very definite as well as Devon, sash is the contrast, she’s a ludite or holistic. She is mystical and unpredictable and seems to have some strange unexplained powers at times although minimized. She could be described as a futuristic alternative girl, or kind neo-pagan, of some kind. It’s a given that she is very beautiful, maybe some kind of “oddish” foundation for makeup or bronze.
Action:
Now we see Sash performing some kind of ritual in her bedroom. (Adjectives: gothic, mechanical, sexual)
She has all kinds of weird powders out and some kind of crazy looking blade thing that springs out mechanically from a small ball or something that she uses to cut herself lightly on the edge of the bottom of her hand, and she collects the blood. She straps on a piece of large jewelry that she is like some kind of sharp pressure point brace neck and head apparatus and she has slight pain when she tightens it. Part of the apparatus goes into her mouth and nose at the same time, and then she opens up part of the apparatus and pours the tiny drops of blood in, and puts the cap back on. (The apparatus is thin metal and is held onto her by leather and is somehow attached to her shoulders, and is sexyish, maybe it is made to look like vines a little bit)
She is made up in a really bizarre yet conveniently flattering way with oil and paints, a-la-louis-Royo J but she still has most of her body covered.
Eventually she is done preparation and leaves and goes to another part of her apartment, and closes the curtains (she looks out and sees New-New-York and Big‘O‘). She has a bizarre combination of mirrors set up with a vile of Eutropica on a thin stand. She kneels before the altar and opens the vile and dumps it out into a circle in the air, the ‘T’ turns white.
Scene 5: The simultaneous inhale.
Setting: Back at the penthouse
Tramen: I remember my first time. It was my 16th birthday, we raided my fathers collection, took the absolute purest vial he had. I believe it was harvested in the last 2 years of the spring.
Sim: Beautiful
Tramen: (laughing slightly) oh, god. He was so mad, it was worth an absolute fortune, wasted on some 16 year old child.
(sim laughs)
Tramen: oh well,. What I would give for that now. (pause) Sim dear, won’t you fetch that new inhaler we picked up on chizea last month.
(Sim leaves the room for a second and everyone else continues to drink in the tub, she comes back with a glass pipe like thing with 2 ends for inhaling)
Sim: Can you remember where you flew?
Tramen: Like it was yesterday. Australia then Eurocanisa. (pause) pretty damn good really for a virgin.
Sim: Very
Tramen: Won’t you join me.
(sim reaches into the box and pulls out another vile of Eutropica and pours it into the inhaler)
Tramen: To long life
(tramen pulls down a little lever that is on the inhaler and two small mirrors turn around and face the inhaler, it turns white and they inhale, and they sit back and fold their arms in pleasure)
Setting: Back at the Devon’s:
(Devon tokes out of the cloud and then Ralf takes the remainder. The both sit back in their chairs and cross arms)
Camera is now back with Sash:
Setting Sash’s room
shows a close up of her lips as she breaths in through the apparatus, then breathes out the “smoke”
(Then sash crouches down and lets her head collapse into her knees, slowly, The camera remains on her for a second while she breathes. Then the camera shows everyone, Tramen, Devon, and Sash in their sleeping state to reinforce the fact that they are all tripping at the same time). Then a representation of their flights begin. (NO FLYING PEOPLE! :)
Scene 5: The simultaneous trip
Setting: Planet Eutropica (the 3rd planet) by a large volcano like hole in the ground about 3-4 feet wide, and a giant gas guesser shoots into the sky. Then “everybody see’s” everybody else starting at the pool, they are all there at the same time. Then a camera moves showing an entire field of these little pools and little guisers puffing clouds of it out like the substance is underneath the ground and escaping, building up pressure. Then just a picture of the 3 suns (red,green,and blue) as if everyone noticed them, but does not signify in which order, just reinforced.
Scene 6: Devon’s realization
(ralf is already awake and he waits a second for Devon to awake, Devon awakes stunned, and looks at Ralf and is silent)
Ralf: What?
(Devon still stunned, pauses)
Devon: fuck?!
Ralf: What!?
Devon: I just saw the hugest fucking ‘T’ flat ever.
Ralf: That new one?
Devon: Un-harvested!!!
Ralf: that’s a tease,.. Your getting’ shit on today
Devon: tease!?
(Devon gets up and starts to pace around an laughs, Ralf sits there stunned in amazement)
Ralf: yeah?
Devon: (excited) Were finding it.
Ralf: (laughs) (nods)
Devon: Well I don’t about you then, but I’m finding it,… screw this fucking synthetic crap, this is worth way more than that.
Ralf: (sarcastic) you and me are gonna steal a military battle ship from the government of a,… another planet, bout 5-6 times the size of this one.
Devon: Were not going to have to fucking steal a ship.
Ralf: We’ll rent it, for that cobolt converter.
Devon: (Dirty look)
(Devon gets up and starts pacing around, acting smart)
Devon: there were other shifters there too,… and I distinctly remember 3 suns. Red, Green and Blue. Fuck it all makes sense, 3 primary suns would create idealistic conditions.
Ralf: (pause), all right, ok ok, … now were talking a little bit, you got lotto on the 3 suns thing, but still that means shit.
Devon: (long pause of guilt) I know my flight radius.
Ralf: what, Since when!?
Devon: Since always.
Ralf: You bastard, what is it?.
Devon: About the same as yours.
Ralf: oh,, ho, ho, ho,. Haha,,. You owe me on that one, big time.
Devon: yeah, yeah, get your laugh out.
Ralf: I can’t believe you held that shit from me.
Ralf: So?
Devon: Lets go see.
Ralf: Till death do us part.
(They both walk upstairs out of the basement lab, you can see the rest of Devon’s apartment, he lives as you would expect, everything is a mess, weird posters on the walls, they go and sit at the computer. There is a weird box beside the computer that he sticks his entire head inside, as identification, then the computer says,. Authorizing, and waits for a bit while they talk)
Ralf: (Laughs)
I still don’t get why you just don’t get an eye scanner?
Devon: It’s to damn easy to clone eyes. All my shit’s in here.
Ralf: yeah, but someone has to want to.
Devon: Some one already tried to clone me man.
Ralf: How?
Devon: Molecularly.
Ralf: Where?
Devon: Out Past V66. I was lost actually.
Ralf: Lost? Jesus
(The computer comes online)
Devon: V, Show me a map of all the planets from earth and twice the distance from Earth to Uri.
(computer instantly computes this)
Devon: V, Show me all planets within the current subset that are in view of 1 red sun and 1 green sun and 1 blue sun.
(computer does this instantly and leaves 3 planets)
Devon: (pleased) MM73F-49B , QY77-VX9 and a,… (holds in a laugh and slips)
FFGTQYZ48C-78HFRGYEF (shows it on screen)
Ralf: umm,. (looks at the big acroynum),. Laughs hard
(Devon gives him a mild dirty look, and laugh leaks out)
Devon: Yeah, well,..
Ralf: what?
Devon: (laughs) oh,. Were riding the frag wave, big time.
Devon: V, connect to Earth MagnaTram
(something is added to the computer screen)
Devon: V, Plot a course to MM73F-49B
(Computer says: Planet not currently supported)
Devon: Fuck, V, Show me as close as I can get.
Devon: (disappointed mouth click sound) V: Does ,… whatever the fuck planet code you just showed me have fragment-wave propulsion or greater.
Computer: There is a 76% chance.
(long pause)
Ralf: We bringing your clone?
Devon: were doing this. I’m doing this. I’m not missing out on this thing,.
This is it.
Ralf: (gets serious) Alright man, you are the smartest person I know well, but,..come on, look at that thing. (points to the big planet code)
Devon: There’s infinite shit we can do,... (a bit mad) Were not going have to go to some government,… and I’ll take the fucking rap if you come with me.
Ralf: Its your guisser.
Devon: (Long pause),.. Yes (for his own brain washing confidence)
Scene 7 (Introduction of Kreen)
Kreen and a 2 lackies are standing in the cargo hold of a ship, and he has an alien by the eye-ball socket, in some kind of a grip thing. (as was once written and lost on my old PC) He has been hunting down this guy,. 1 lackie has a beast type of dog “thing“, by a leash, and it is making “barks”.
Alien: Gaa!! ma-je-Mo (alien for ouch, fuck you!)
Kreen: Got something in your eye.
Alien: ma-je-Mo
Kreen: oh fuck yeah,.. I can see fine.
Alien: Ma!
Kreen: Spit it out.
(The alien spits out some little jewel thing he has in his mouth, and kreen throws him on the ground, his lackie puts his foot on his neck)
Kreen: Sad. (whipes the spit off the jewel onto his pat leg)
Kreen: Throw dick and his dog in jail.
(The guy with the dog grabs the alien guy by the scruff of the neck and starts him towards the door)
(Kreen holds up the jewel by the necklace)
Kreen: We, should throw it in the shit shoot,.. make him worm around in there for a while.
Lackie1: Who, Kev?
Kreen: yeah
Lackie. Give’em a piece of marvin’s jewelry instead. (mom is a nickname for someone weird)
Kreen: (laughs)
(They get into the elevator)
Lackie: Where’d you learn that eye socket thing?
Kreen: Never seen that?
Lackie: No.
Kreen: (begins to demonstrate)
Learned that from having someone,.. do it on me.
Lackie: Owe,.. Fuck (starts to cringe)
(all of a sudden Tramen starts to contact Kreen on telepathic communications (optionally talked out loud into air) and lets go of the hold demonstration and the elevator door opens)
Kreen: aw, Jesus,.. I’ll be in-in a sec.
Lackie1: right
Kreen: I thought I told you to use the damn com.
Tramen: (laughing) Can’t use the com today my friend, to insecure, this a big day for us.
Kreen: It’s big alright,… what’s up?
Tramen: I’ve got some good news for you.
Kreen: yeah,,.. Say where is that flat of TAR you owe me?
Tramen: That was supposed to have made it’s way to you months ago.
Kreen: yeah well,.. Yer way aint my way.
Tramen: I’ll resend the damn thing,.. I did send it. Anyways, I’ve got much bigger news. I’ve got a really nice job for you. I need you to go scout out and secure a V22 harvesting site for me.
Kreen: (surprised a bit) That is big.
Tramen: yes it is. Are you up to it?
Kreen: Let’s hear the rest of it.
Tramen: You’re ship won’t cut it, plus you might have to take some people out too.
Kreen: I’m listening,.
Tramen: You’ll have to rendezvous with one of my freighters, I’ve got 3 planets that need to be investigated and the 3rds,. too far. It’ll have Jarsh and Tommie on their for you.
Kreen: Do I get to keep Jarsh? (said as a smart ass joke in between the lines)
Tramen: Those people I mentioned , there will be a guy and a girl, there looking for the same thing, not sure what kind of thorn they’ll be. A girl, a brunnette, pretty, and some guy,.. human,… about 35. Don’t know either of them.
Kreen: what’s the deal?
Treen: 18,000 VF, regardless,.. Plus a 5k bonus if it’s actually there.
Kreen: Alright,... sounds good.
------------------------------------------------
(Kreen walks onto the bridge of his ship, jokingly plays up his, command, to unveil their new mission in prose, and kind of see if everyone is “into it“ in a sarcastic soliloquy)
Kreen: What are we guys? Really though,.. I mean here we are,
An infine space, another dick in jail, lost marbles in my pocket,
A thumb in your eye,. What are these times? Have we been born into shame or salvation?
Mike: Salvation
Kreen: Shame,. Shame I think, The Pile of greed that is Tramen has summoned upon us, his self proclamingness himself, have bequeathed us, orders, .. Scouts no less,.
His tinny little trinkets,.. voice activated,.. under control,.. Slave to the Tar we are,. Are we?
John: I am
Kreen: A Frigate of five?
Mike2: I’m in,.
Dave: Yip
Kreen: MM57P-08Q
----------------------------------------
TO DO: Devon and Ralf go to magna tram, and sit in Magna Tram
Scene 8: Waiting on translation
Devon and Ralf at the “Replicator Wal-Mart on planet #1, on the buss), they have a pocket sized mind decoder, and they sit it on the corner of the “sidewalk” behind a bush, and they sit on a park bench.
Devon: Seek: “English”
Ralf: I can’t fucking believe,.. I’ve never seen you get this statistically futile before.
Devon: This is a really good fucking translator man, this thing has infinite languages in it.
Ralf: mm,… What’s with the bush
(devon is fascinated with the bush)
Devon: I wanna hide it here (bends down)
Ralf: no body’s going to recognize that fucking thing.
Devon: Oh I Dunno,.. this thing has Jim written all over it.
(they sit on the park bench)
Devon: Jims are read only.
(Option: Devon has a space cigarette, with some kind of muted “flame“ somehow? Never ending smoke or something, they watch the aliens go by, some weird thing is going on as well, at least a circle of hare-chrisna aliens or something in a “quiet conga” or something)
Ralf: The times we live in man,.. I think I feel the past.
Devon: Time means shit to me.
Ralf: I know man,… fuck.
(pause)
Ralf: Look at that chick man,. (bizarre “woman” dancing with the group or something)
Devon: oh,… Jesus,…. I can’t believe that sometimes my mind doesn’t just,… shut off for a second or something,.. or just overload.
Ralf: Do you think that evolutionary thing is true,. About us being physically not ready somehow?
Devon: oh, yeah, that’s what I mean. I feel the hectic,… when I’m out.
Ralf: QZ55
Devon: (nods) That place is a fucking race track 24 hrs a day
(pause and realization)
Devon: there it is,.. …. (pause) Look at that asteroid belt.
Ralf: which part of it?
Devon: See those 3 that are kind of clustered together, the triangle?
Ralf: ok
Devon: I think that small one is going to smash right into that factory. So it’s gotta move.
Ralf: what makes you say that
Devon: I can just tell,.. from playing Asteroids,..
Ralf: I won’t disagree with you on that one.
Devon: That thing’s our fucking frag-wave propulsion technology.
Ralf: You think that fucking thing needs frag wave to move? No,. you could move that thing around on drive no problem,.
Devon: No-No,.. it would popcorn those people all around that damn factory, on drive.
Ralf: Shit, I suppose it would vibrate pretty bad, huh
Devon: Yup
(long pause, and looks back and fourth)
Ralf: You are taking the rap.
Devon: Didn’t I say I’d take the rap.
Ralf: Yes you did, and I’m hold you to it.
Devon: So,…
Devon: Lemme call, Dayna.
-----------------------------------------------
Scene 9: Kreen arrives at Mark Mirages home-planet,
The “crew” are looking at it on screen together
Kreen: Put it up,. Jesus What kind of freak show is this now?
Mike: Another one of those God Damn advertisement planets,. Maybe
Kreen: I don’t think so,. This things too alive,. Zoom in.
Dave: On what?
Kreen: ... Look for a good restaurant,.
Dave: What do you want?
Kreen: Plastic Free
Dave: Steak?
Kreen: Yeah.
Mike: There’s a steak restaurant down there.
Kreen: Bring it up.
(pause)
Kreen: It’s a fucking amusement park or something.
Dave: Mark Mirage’s ,. never come home land
Kreen: Mark Mirage eh? Compatible money?
Mike: Yip
Kreen: This is where we have to meet that freighter. We got some time to kill. I’m going down,.. anyone coming?
Mike: I’ll come with you.
Kreen: Alright,… dock
(shot of ship docking or something, in an atmosphere, so they can breathe, walking to the edge in some wind, towards a ground lift, maybe yelling over the wind)
Mike: Think there’s enough room for that bitch of a ship (looks at the dock)
Kreen: maybe over there,. (points) We got to keep an eye out
A girl and a guy, who we see,… Too often,.
Mike: Do we know them?
Kreen: No,.. Brunette apparently,.. And some guy,.. No description.
Mike: We supposed to take them out,.
Kreen: We’ll see,.. I doubt it, (they look over the edge of the railing down at the planet) God look at this place,.. loud as my grandmothers wedding dress,.
Mike: (laughs) Virgin was she?
Kreen: Never knew her,... we’ve got 2 more of these we have to check out
Mike: where?
Kreen: Don’t know yet,. Jarsh and Tommie are going to know,.
Mike: Jarshie,.
Kreen: (smiles)
(They get into the glass lift, and are looking around at the HUGE planet of an amuzment park)
Elevator: State destination
Kreen: Ground
(They look around in a bit of amazement, at all of the crazy CG amusement rides, HUGE and almost as far as the eye can see, with parking lots in the sky docking and such)
Kreen: “The Static Tubular”
Mike: fuck me,.. I’d be scared of that thing even,..
Kreen: “The forget me not”
(speaks for itself)
Kreen: did you get the location of that restaurant?
Mike: Shit,.. no.
Kreen: Looks at his communicator watch. “Dave”
(dave appears)
Kreen: Forgot to get the coordinates.
Dave: oh yeah,.. Just a sec,.. X281, Y301
Kreen: out
Kreen: Elevator,.. X281, Y301
(elevator switches directions)
Mike: dit nu nuh ni nuh (hums the amusment park)
Kreen: Mark Mirage eh? What a legacy,..
Mike: Melt the place down and sell it
Kreen: For what?
Mike: I suppose
Kreen: it’s been a while since I’ve had real food though,.
Mike: Months for me.
(BACK TO DEVON AND RALF, because they do kind of “run right into mark”)
Scene: Devon calls Dayna
Devon reaches at his watch, and says Dayna.
(Beep), (Beep), (Beep)
“Dayna is brain in a jar”, “Hooked up to machines”, his eyes are on a trollie, or levitate and float around the room or something, or his eyes are on wires or something. They scan the room.
Devon: Dayna good man,.. How are you?
Dayna: I’m feeling,.. I’m feeling, what’s up?
Devon: You got a few minutes for me.
Dayna: Sure
Devon: oh, by the way I got that Kroekemar Force 7, issue from Geary,
Dayna: Scan it for me, will ya.
Devon: Fuck, I’ll give it to you , if you can pull this off for me.
Dayna: Shoot.
Devon: I need you to try to override the control systems on a factory ship for me.
Dayna: Where are you.
(Devon turns to ralf)
Devon: You remember where we are?
Ralf: MM7 (something) it had a Q in there.
Devon: use MM7 Q B
Dayna: ..sec
Dayna: ok, I got ya,. Factory ship huh. What else can you tell me about it?
Devon: its in the way of the asteroid belt.
Dayna: fuck Devon, there’s so much similar industrial junk on this planet, I’m not getting shit,.. Got anything else.
Devon: Just colors and stuff
Dayna: Can you give me something highly unique?
Devon: Just us.
Dayna: You wish,.. How about a concentration of copper or potassium,. Can you get me together a big pile of potassium or copper in one spot. Maybe you could whip it up in the factory.
Ralf: Were going get nailed
Devon: We can pull that off.
Ralf: Don’t do it,… Dayna,..
Devon: Ralf’s being a pussy.
Ralf: You’re my witness Dayna,..
Dayna: Allright, you get my that pile of copper or potassium about 50 lbs, and I got you.
Ralf: Watch for me,.. Call me when you get it.
Dayna: I DON’T FUCKING EXIST ON THIS ONE DEVON, THIS FUCKING SOUNDS LIKE TROUBLE TO ME, BIG TIME.
Ralf: You will when I bring you that issue.
SCENE: Sash gets trained
(Sash wakes up from the experience, and starts to use charcoal like stuff, to draw a picture of Devon, and Tramen, and the guisser scene, and she starts and “Big O” steps in, completes the drawing, and ends up giving her Devon and Ralf’s location, she has been to the guisser before, and is not as surprised at the sight, but surprised that there is someone there this time)
Sash: Hey!?,.
Optimizer: I’m going to help you with that, I know both of these men.
Sash: with what?
Optimizer: That experience happened for a reason,.. there has been outside interference.
Sash: By what?
Optimizer: Unknown
(the optimizer finishes the picture is great detail and lights up or points out the faces on the picture)
Optimizer: He is Devon,… He is Tramen
Sash: I wana find them
Optimizer: Why?
Sash: I’ve been going to that place for years,.. there’s never anyone there,… now there is,..
Optimizer: I think your right, Devon went to MMQ75B-08Q on MagnaTram,.. here is some relevant information. The location of Tramen is unknown to me. Devon’s H-cluster allowance code is :”Kroekemar”
(A map appears on the table)
Optimizer: Your getting upgraded. + 5 technology, + 5 knowledge, +7 uniqueness,… you can now have this.
(slight bionic strengthening devices, crawl up her arm, just thin looking metal, still slick and non-interfering , with her mostly tight clothes, she jumps a little)
Sash: I don’t know if I want to be Roboted
Optimizer: You can remove it if you want, just think about it, and it will come off and on, it will also self adapt to your movements, and adrenaline levels. The people mentioned will have similar devices. Please stand up.
Sash: What do you mean “self adapt“?
(the optimizer throws her out of her window, she smashes the window and screams, and it shows her landing on her feet or something, and crouches a bit, preferably NOT IN “BULLET TIME” or “Matrix” landings J )
(She looks absolutely “stund” then tries to catch breath, and faints, but she does not fall all the way down, she gets to bent knee level and it stands her back up again (it would be neet for her to totally fall asleep standing up for 10 seconds or so) and she wakes up)
Sash: Holly fuck!!!,.. You ass whole.
Optimizer: I’m helping you. This may be extremely dangerous. +10 Bravery.
Sash: Quit rating me
Optimizer: I am designed to provide relativistic and appropriate personal information.
(she vanishes and appears back in the apartment, out of breath and surprised)
Sash: Stop it!
Optimizer: I needed to show you that as well, that was teleportation,.. teleportation can be dangerous and traumatic, you have not experienced it.
Sash: I like the old way.
Optimizer: As do I for you. I will leave you alone now but you must hurry if you want to catch Devon on MagnaTram.
(she looks around the room, freaked out, starts to go through her things, on her dresser, and picks up some stuff, cards and stuff, and puts it into her pocket, and folds up the map and picture of Devon and Tramen, a “car” is already waiting outside of her house, she gets in)
Sash: Magnatram Station
(she goes to magnatram, and tells the magnatram where to go, MMQ whatever, she reads the map and stuff or something on the tram, and soon it end up at the planet, she gets off and goes to a computer panel market “locator“, which is high above the ground, encased in glass, you can see the planet below)
Sash: I need to find this person,.. (she holds up the picture)
Computer: Please enter H-Cluster authorization code:
(She looks puzzled for a second, and looks at the map again)
Sash: Kroekemar
(The machine scans the picture, and lights up the “glass” to show where he is on the planet, or shows a topographical map, and the outside of the factory store, and Devon and Ralf are walking into it)
Sash: How do I get there?
Computer: You may request transport.
Sash: then, I request transport.
(she “vanishes”, maybe pixel by pixel somehow , similar to how the Optimizer showed her)
SCENE ?: Kreen meets mark
(They get out of the elevator and start walking, weirdos everywhere, teenageers, he throws back autographed pictures)
They are walking by and see mark in a “float” kind of thing, and people are watching and throwing and throwing “cheezies” and flower pedals, at him, as he rides on his chariot, playing really obnoxious music, that is some sawed of version of circus music ,. Acknowledging marks “greatness”)
Kreen: oh and look, we get to meet the see the man behind the legacy too. We must be special guests,.. (pause) shit,. have we ever screwed this guy?
Mike: No No,. I don‘t think. Just bad luck.
Mike: He’s got some kind of luck anyway,.. What the hell are they throwing at him?
Kreen: Flowers,... And,.. Cotton candy or something,.
(a picture lands on the ground below kreen’s feet, he picks it up, they look at it)
Kreen: How could you wake up in the morning and let that happen to you.
Mike: ..automation,..
(kreen krumples up the picture , and puts it in the palm of his hand, and hit’s the bottom of his hand up behind his back, and it lands on the flow, and one of the “guard robots” in disguise, eye starts to activate, it whispers in Marks ear, with subtitles “The guy in the grey and his pall just threw your picture back at you”. Mark gets stunning offended. I may be interesting to imply that Kreen knows that Jarsh is a 40 ft tall remote control robot as well, and remembers his many experiences, and even sences, that this person may be “robot happy” and, Kreen is a little Robot Happy as well, and that there “may” be a competition, but still remembers he could indeed be “crushed like a fruit” pretty easy compared to that bot.
Marks Robot to Mark: “The guy in the grey and his pall just threw your picture back at you”.
Mark: Where?
(the robot points)
Mark: STOP!! (the float starts to transform into a giant robot)
Kreen: (looks around) here we go,.
Mark: You, there,. In the grey,. Mr. Average guy,. (walks down off of the chariot)
Now what the fuck do you think your doing throwing around my image,.. This is MY world,.. (holding up the crumbled picture)
Kreen: I don’t see your picture on it.
Mark: Wrong Hemisphere,.. ass whole,.
(fans have gathered around,.. fight fight style)
Kreen: That’s a pretty impressive, babysitter you got there.
Mark: I should crush your head like fruit.
Kreen: You? (looks up a BIG ROBOT)
(mark looks around,.. Sees all of the fans seeing him overreacting, takes a look at how people are looking at Kreen, in some sympathy,. Because he’s good looking)
Mark: You know what Mr. guy,. I’m going to let you live,.. Because I feel bad for you,.
And this is a place of fun,.. But If I catch you fucking around with anything,.. I will display my power
Kreen: (looks around at all the flourecent junk and lights) You’ve no shortage of that.
Mark: You said it,.. not me.
(hands him a new and fresh picture of himself, and some free passes)
Mark: Enjoy
(mark walk away)
Kreen: We might need,.. More guns.
SCENE: Devon and Ralf go to the factory.
.. Movement to the factory
(They pick up the translator)
Devon: I knew we won’t have to do something stupid
Ralf: Your luck is ridiculous,… it’s scary really, you might have something on you or something, this is abnormal as hell. (like he has a “reality” synthesizer J)
Devon: I don’t have a situational synth on me, I ain’t that stupid,. (pause) I can’t believe it either actually,. I was faking,. I didn’t know how the hell we were going to get a frag wave ship,… this might just work. I’m getting that dome.
Ralf: getting caught is very possible.
Devon: yeah, but this ain’t that bad.
Ralf: This is still pretty bad
Devon: H-Cluster “guards” (single out guards to imply a low level on the hierarchy) probly.
Ralf: Your judge,.. are you sure you want to try to pull this off?
Devon: What’d do you mean?
Ralf: (getting a little louder) Well, are your sure?, because I don’t give a fucking rat’s ass about that guiser ,.. I’m not as board as you yet.
Devon: It’s not fucking board’em, its nothing, its vapour, and it’s a chance, I’m willing to take.
Ralf: Yeah, man, but you gotta just ,.. blame it on yourself, and I’ll let you. I’ll back out right now, and go home.
Devon: You don’t want to help me?
Ralf: of course I want to help you, because I see the innocence, this is shit to me,. But,. Jail time, ain’t, you know how it‘s gonna be,.. Can you live with that philosophy?
Devon: Yes
Ralf: Good
Ralf: Are you going to fucking hate me? A year
Devon: Six months max, with ‘O’
(they walk towards the “buss”)
Scene ?: They arrive at the restaurant
(waitress, died hair, hot,.a lot of visual stimuli around this scene, sitting at a railing or something, on an outdoor patio or something, or indoors? That’s why I think anyway, it’s a slow paced scene in dialog with quite long pauses, it‘s a “calm before a storm” in a sence)
Waitress: English?
Kreen: yup,.. Couple of menu’s too, please.
Waitress: No problem
Kreen: your food natual?
Waitress: we have earth food.
Mike: Nice
(she hands menu’s and walks away)
Kreen: At least he hasn’t forgot earth huh? (mark mirage is on the napkin)
(comfortable silence, and watch, eventually mike looks at the sky)
Mike: We should be able to bitchie when she comes in.
(points at docks, ships landing)
Kreen: Did we check for docs on the other side? (starts reading menu)
Mike: No, we probly should though. I’ll do it.
(looks at his watch-comunicator to the ship)
Mike: Dave,.. Are we going be able to see that frieghter when it comes up, do we got docs on the other side?
Dave: No, the docs you went down on are the only ones. I’ll let you know.
Mike: Alright
Kreen: (more menu pause and read) what do you think?
Mike: I see all kinds of stuff.
Kreen: I’m going to get fish.
Mike: Good idea.
(long pause and look at stimuli)
Kreen: Tramen,.. I dunno,. Were looking for a v22 site.
Mike: (looks to say “no way” or “right on“)
Kreen: and entire sight he said. That’s why were get’n that freighter. … it’s way out of H-Cluster too. It’s down kind of,. And right. (gestures the geometry)
Mike: How Far?
Kreen: Like 6 years with our ship probly.
Mike: I’ve been out there maybe, once,.
Kreen: There’s “grey space” out there.
Mike: Is there? That might be a nice place to take a break.
Kreen: Yeah yeah,. We’ll check it out,..
(cut and come back then they are eating, or get served)
(kreen and SASH talk in grey space, btw for now, most likely calm down)
Scene ?: Mark and Kreen duel
Suggestion: If I were to have to pick 1 “song-song” to be in this thing, I would pay homage to the bit of Heavy Metalness this is supposed to have, and play portions of “Disposable Heros” by Metallica. I’m not a big fan of “songs’ in sci-fi, but some people are.
Kreen Has just finished chasing Devon and Ralf and Sash, and misses, and they are running up to Tubular Static, and Kreen and Mark get into a fight with battle bots, about a football field apart, these bots are about 40 feet tall, and have remote control. Kreen’s buddies are standing behind him, looking on to his fold up LCD screen on his forearm, that is a close up shot, and they are making suggestions, and getting ready to fire the turrets.
(yelling at each other from about 20 feet away(
Mark: What’ did I tell you about this kind of shit ass whole (interupts the case)
Kreen: this doesn’t concern you.
Mark: you concern me (looks at Jarsh and smiles) I’m going to own that.
Kreen: Looks like you try to own everything else, buddy.
Mark: Just the things that are any fun.
Kreen: (looks at his buddies and nods)
Mark: um,. Grey boy!! Were doing this my way.
Mark to bot: Clear everybody out of here
(The bot starts yelling “clear the perimeter”, “clear the perimeter”, “move away”, “move away”, and all the teenagers and freaks, move back, to expose quite a large area, where a different battle bot, than the smaller one that mark had with him, that is bigger and scarrier than “jarsh“, emerges out to fight” Mark flips open his LCD screen on his forearm)
Mark: You picked the wrong party to crash
Kreen: you invited me, dip shit
(kreen moves the joystick on his arm, toward the robot, call it “mister“, it runs up to it, and shoots in the face, about 50 times or so, and then it bashes jarsh back onto his ass, jarsh goes for the knees) flips back and forth between joystick view and wide shot of the battle, marks face, the usual. I like the idea of seeing right over the forarm a couple of times.
Appropriate ad libs comments to help with “baltte” actors make up some stuff or whatever.
(Devon and ralf are just watching or something, examining the static tubular, maybe they think Mark is going to win with mister, and they are not panicking yet, Mister is BIG and BAD) Kreen and his Men blow up or disable mister with gun turrets. Mark Gets real pissed off, and calls the security force to come, everything starts to flash off and on, sirens star going, the sky changes color to dark pupule, or something, a firestorm starts in the sky, of laser bullets, as if WW20 were going down, and Marks world was well equipped.
Mark yells: HHHHEEEELLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!
(display of lockdown, purple sky as described above)
Kreen: God damn, I don’t think we should stick around for this one (and they look up and see Devon and Ralf standing at the entrance of static tubular, after watching “the show” and run)
Mike and buddies: Shake heads
Devon and Ralf run into static tubular.
Static Tubular: I have “designs for this” it’s a glass tube “ride” that you crawl, or RUN around inside depending on budget, I like the idea of being able to run around in it, and it has obsacles, but would be expensive to build, could probably build the crawl version and use it as a connected 3D motiv, and make it look the 50ft tall & 250 long that it is supposed to be. It’s a “race” ride. They all get inside of it and are running. It leads to the other side of a wall. Where the lifts are. Another big battle bot comes along, and starts smashing static tubes and does, break it. I’m not sure exactly the action on what happens here, but getting on top of the tube, maybe some jumping up high, falling, because Devon and Ralf have the same bionics that Sash does. So this is where they get to show it off, they can take hits too. I would imagine the major climax of the tube ride, is when the robot smashes the whole thing. When Devon and Ralf enter the tube, it may actually transform them somehow and make them being followed by the “static opponents” or somehow become more equipped for the ride. This ride is like a race, and I guess it would depend on what you could create for obstacles and such, it may be cool if there are fake players (static electricity opponents) that think they are simply playing the race with Devon and Ralf to help confuse it.
Kreen captures Sash and they all fall out of the static tubular ride, and run into crowds of people, running to the next lift (back up to the ships), Devon and Ralf, are making a break for the “sky lots” and they get intercepted by Mark.
Devon: Fucking Teleporters! (sees mark and his robot guards in the way)
Mark: Teleporters fucking you (grabs them both by the shoulder and they teleport away, there in marks board room with a robot guard as usual)
Mark: Who the fuck are you?
Devon: Devon (very apparent that knowing that means nothing)
Ralf: Ralf (also very obvious to that fact)
Mark: Who the hell was that guy?
Ralf: Dale and Steve
Mark: Shut up, dick head, sit down,
Devon: Grab me a beer.
(very long look in the eyes between Devon, and Mark, as mark back down realizes that Devon is his means to Kreen, and hates kreen enough to cooperate, and relises that he might be Kreens enemy)
Mark: Preference? (lightens up)
Devon: Light
(mark goes and gets a could of beer bottles, give Ralf a light too)
Mark: So what’s the scoop who the hell is this guy?,.. I have infinite money.
Devon: This is a guy, that is chasing us enough, to destroy half your “planet“
Mark: Half,. I think not.
Devon: Whatever, we don’t know who he is, but we know where he’s going.
Mark: What do you want?
Devon: Just a way there,.. maybe back.
Mark: You don’t want money?
Devon: Not particularly
Ralf: Unless your infinity includes us a free ship
Mark: I’ve only got two ships.
Ralf: We only want one
Mark: Sentimental value
Devon: Just get us out there.
Mark: where’s there?
Devon: How fast is your ship.
Mark: its like every thing else around here, an energy sucking “light ball“.
Devon: When can we see?
Mark: Don’t spill your beer,… I don’t like losing.
(elevator door opens up, hanger with Mark’s sports ship)
Mark: Feast your eyes
Ralf: Shit
Devon: This should do
Ralf: Holly crap
(Mark stands in satisfaction of the marvel at his “sports” ship, the Jackie ‘o‘’s are aliens that are worthy of respect, looked up to in a way, a significantly more advanced culture, Mark is from earth as well, a lot of planets on MagnaTram and neighboring are actually owned or claimed completely by humans)
Mark: I can’t take credit for this one,… this is pure “Jackie ‘O“ engineering,.. Stolen as hell,..
Ralf: How the hell did you get something like this away from the Jackie’s ?
(Devon examines the ship in marvel as well)
Mark: They’re overrated
Ralf: Underestimated?
Mark: Anticipated
Ralf: Does that explain hell outside?
Mark: I explain hell outside.
Devon: We should move.
-TO DO,. “LOTS“-
…
(They go to eat,. And Devon and Ralf pull up,.. And Tramen contacts Kreen,. And says,. Rats out Devon and Ralf,, he says they just they just pulled up in a big square looking piece of crap factory store,. Both of them are on board,. There 3 of them now,. And here they are,. Shows kreen pictures of them) I want you to get rid of them ASAP)
Kreen sees them,. Gets reinforcements,.
Devon and Ralf get on “Static Tubular”
Kreen’s artillery arrives,.
They demolish static tubular,. Big statue of Mark Mirage falls on something,.
Big huge fights happens with marks security force,. Stuff blowing up everywhere.
Devon and Ralf Get caught,. Kreen catches SASH.
Devon and Ralf tell mark where Kreen is going? (They make friends, sort of)
They take of in Marks State of the Art sports ship, to the next planet.
Scene ?: Eating and such
-----------------------------------------
BRIEF DESCRIPTION OF PLANET #2: Where the only living escapee lives of #3
The 2nd planet is very uninhabited, and very desolate, remains of an ancient civilization are around or something. The women from the planet, originated at this one, but it was destroyed by GAK, and they were taken to planet #3. She is only part cyborg, she managed to get away somehow, to this planet. She tells some of the history, she hates metal. She tells Sash about how the women, live, and how one of their only means of recreation is the V22. There are various animals around as well, she has a bunch of pets. This is the planet where Devon and Ralf take off on Mark, leaving him stranded, he finds Kreen and Sash, and they capture him. Devon and Ralf head off to number 3.
DESCRIPTION OF PLANET #3 (or planet Eutropica or whatever)
Contrary to what you might think about the heavy metalesque cliché of having a planet of women, this is most likely quite different, but in they it is indeed a planet mostly inhabited by women. These 5 or so different women (repeated) represent a tissue pool for a cyborg, who makes and sells cyborgs named GAK. These woman are grown until different ages, then turned into cyborgs, for sale. These woman live in “canaster style” apartment complexes with fire-escapes on the outside, kind of run down and weak looking steal (actually all steal turns to rust on females, inside the perimeter.) very dirty. The cyborg and his henchwomen do not let the fleshlings have any real steal, only rusty metal so they cannot revolt. This is how a more Luis Royo / Heavy metal type of artistic effect is achieved, they wear hemp jewelry or something, and dress in tight black or something, very uniform and basic, somewhat similar to SASH. They are extremely repressed, and many are very angry, knowing that their destiny it to bare a child, (or be incubated, so no kids or anything would have to be used, “rubber kids in incubators”). Then be turned into a cyborg in their 25th birthday. The cyborg types are: warrior #1, warrior #2, agricultural type, home type, and guard. They servile and the fleshlings. They are NOT startled or worried by the appearance of Devon, Ralf and Kreen and Sash, because both Devon and Kreen decide to act like potential customers, Kreen / SASH is interested in buying warriors, and Devon, agricultural cyborgs. The parties are offered quarters by their generous “host”. “Don’t steal anything J”. These cyborgs are some kind of a cross between general grievous , predator and a women, the “home model” is a bit more sexy. Kreen’s plan is to try to scam some borgs, and turn them on “GAK” (or whatever his name is) and Devon thinks he can cause a chain reaction in the ‘T’ somehow and explode the entire planet, but is not quite sure how that will be useful. The total mood and atmosphere of the “movie” / story, takes a very dark turn here, this GAK is a REAL BASTARD, he demonstrates a “transition“ or something, and shows his devices, optionally his “impregnator” as well. They all abandon other thoughts eventually, and agree that this GAK must be destroyed. GAK could be a male cyborg as well. Eventually tramen shows up with an army, and they escape with a few of the women, and a huge battle is taking place. He has like 50 or so of these things on hand, cyborgs. His factory is not at the scale of Star Wars: Attack of the clones , where thousands of “clones” were shown. It is likely as well, that SASH gets caught, still a work in progress.
NOTES ON THE TRANSLATOR:
Translation in Sci-Fi is a bitch. My plan is to make it both, mix it up when it feels right, if someone needs to be more “alien” make them talk it, try to explain it though, I think I’m limiting it to two times. The translator scene, GAK has a translator force field, after a fairly long misscominucation sequence, and possibly one at the planet #2 between sash and the second woman, using sign language, that she received in a dream. Maybe she has seen that woman before or something. You get to see the women’s language change half way through their sentences in English when he turns on the translation “force” field. Subtitles as well.
A fun view of the MagnaTram.
I imagine the MagnaTram station as a volcano on the horizon of the city, HUGE, foundtaining particle “carts” or mini ships (spheres) that are magnetically thrown away and come in really fast, and are held as well, as the entire planet surving as a magnatram “node” , with a torus shaped platform outside, up high, with buildings and stuff, and you get there by a similar mechanism.
GREY SPACE:
It might be cool to switch to “GREY SPACE” between one of the planets or something. Maybe planet #2 is in a grey space zone.
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Scene X+?
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Gak: Gak is the contrast “big time”, he is evil as hell, more of an excuse to go louis royo like, as the whole planet more resembles, sash’s appearance. They really don’t like GAK. Everyone is kind of intimidated by Gak. They have left Jarsh outside, with the robot “century”. I imagine Gak to look like Pedator a bit, like Louis Royo paintings, greasy, metal, or something, with a twist of new maybe some color. Gak could also have some human showing out of him too. Whatever,.
They all first come in to the “Lobby/Showroom” for Gak and his dealership. Miscommunication is going down. They Do not speak the same language, GAK switches on the translation field. There is one and smaller and different cyborg, a model sized, a foot tall sitting on a table. (The girl from before has informed them , so they know that he is making cyborgs from women)
Gak: Kilah-t-ope , (pause and look for response, as he cycles through guesses at languages) (sound effect, really out there) HUMAN
(It may acutally be better to go 3 and 3 or something with a miscommunication, overdub thing, like the sound is “floating out of them” into a common area somehow, maybe out of a machine, or out of gak, weird in a movie to imply sound orientation, but maybe somehow, mike a tiny speaker, and capture the acoustics placement), lots of reverb or something, like it was down a hall)
Kreen: That one
(Gak flicks his force field for translation)
Gak: How did you hear about me
Kreen: Tramen told me
Gak: I don’t know Tramen , what are you like?
Kreen: I’m interested in her. (looks at the little toy model thing on the table)
Gak: You (looks at Devon)
Devon: (examines the a “prostitute” statue) She looks pretty good to me.
Gak: and You? (Looks at Ralf)
Devon: I’m open
Sash: I’m ,.. NOT open.
Gak: Understood,.. But are you,… comfortable?
Sash: I’ve seen it all
Gak: It‘s good that you won‘t be alarmed,.. Welcome.
(They walk by Gak, gak waits for Sash and as she walk byJ everyone else stops and watches)
Gak: Are you absolutely sure you know what I am?
Sash: I know exactly what you are, you’re a murderer.
Gak: I’m a half murderer, many times over. Prejudice as hell.
Sash: You’re only half alive (maybe as if to acknowledge his excuse)
Gak: 3 quarters dead, actually. (points toward the door with his eyes)
Sash: Funny
Gak: Not usually for women,… I won’t kill you unless you act up.
Sash: I know (starts to walk)
Gak: I run a very efficient operation,… Maximization of offspring,… non-accelerated tissue,.. nothing but the best.
(next room, display rooms, 3 robots, then 1 then 1)
Gak: My standard classes
Gak: These things are almost indestructible,… I brag about my work like it’s art.
(extends a weapon of some kind and bashes one of them in the head, really hard, and it does not damage it)
(Devon and Kreen responses)
Gak: These 3, all general purpose warriors,
Gak: I use steal from our moons. Compressed over millions of years. Their circuitry, evolved for a least 20 years,.. in living tissue acids.
Gak: I get souvenirs,.. brought back from battles, with pride.
Gak: Come this way
(another room, with the agricultural robot, maybe has tracks of something, flesh is used in a really disturbing way here, because although at least 2 of the robots could be almost human, the biggest battle robot, the agricultural one, are almost all metal, and in the ag robot, tissue is used kind of like a raw material, squares of flesh, in other words, a big gross cyber that hardly even looks human)
(they are all kind of hiding their vomit from this one)
Gak: Even I have to do it,.. Eat,. The biology functions best on natural carbohydrates and proteins. This ones for agricultural purposes.
Gak: I,.. like my products do not require very much,.. As humans,.. I’m sure you get the point.
(next room)
Gak: This is the nice one.
Gak: She won’t live as long,.. but she dies beautiful,..
(alternate wise crack: Gak: but she’ll make a beautiful corpse)
Sash: How long?
Gak: about 200 years, she’s a 1 cell’d organism
Devon: Speaking of cells?
Gak: The fuel cells are perpetual nuclear reactors.
Obviously the tissue will die first.
Gak: These 5 are my current selection.
Kreen: I heard you have provisions for major purchases
Gak: Did Tramen tell you that?
Kreen: That was a trick, Tramen is my worst enemy.
Gak: I was hoping that you were going to say that.
Kreen: Wouldn’t want you to lead him to me.
Gak: I’m pretty hard to hack
Kreen: Is 10 warriors major?
Gak: What do your friends want?
Devon: I want the farmers, but I need the provisions, I have to see them in action,
Gak: Understood,… what are you growing?
Devon: I can’t tell you,.. in front of him. (points at Kreen)
Gak: Competition?
Devon: Sport
Gak: What about you?
Ralf: I’m in for a pretty one.
(pause)
Sash: I’m with him (eyes Kreen)
Gak: That’s not a bad haul,.. I’ll grant you 2 days as guests,.. study to your hearts content. (he turns on the “Home Model” named “L” somehow, she comes to life) She’ll show you around. Dinners at my place,.. tonight. (L could also be L69 or L11 or L22 or whatever)
L: I’ll show you to your rooms.
(they walk)
Gak: Don’t steal anything.
(Devon gives Ralf a look as to “reinforce” the level of sophistication that must take for perpetual nuclear and “fear” if possible, or he could see the starting of an “angle” for a weapon, “perpetual nuclear reactor‘s eh“)
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Note: when they get to planet #2, Devon Ralf and Mark get there first, they talk to the woman, she explains some stuff, then Kreen and Sash show, up, Immediately Mark, wants to start a fight with Kreen, kreen Wins, and that is how they all know in advance about Gak, to avoid the conflict between Devon and Kreen, basically it all goes on Mark. They settle differences, and decide to call truise and see if what the woman saying is true, Kreen is saying “fuck Tramen” as well as Devon say’s “Guiser’s not that important”. (kind of thing). Another option is to get Devon and Ralf to the planet, without knowing what is there, that will leave a “getting there without warning” effect, but Kreen and Sash, either have to convince devon and ralf, or capture them, in order for them to all agree to walk into Gak’s together posing as “customers”.
NOTE: The girl at planet #2, has reverse engineered herself. On planet #3, Ralf Branches off with the “Home Model” robot, and it introduces him, to her “up and comer” / replacement, as it turns out this replacement girl, still largely flesh, (although not “naked”) has adapted to the ‘T’ vapour without mirrors, and takes frequent trips back to the planet #2, and she (the drifter, on planet #2) is teaching her how to reprogram the cyborgs, and staging the rescue attempt, because the girl on p#2 has “taken herself apart”. She explains the entire thing. So she is on the border of getting transformed, and is saved. So this enables the fleshier version, to reprogram her transformed , mother.
NOTE: I’m making up a number,.. I’m calling it a dwillian. It’s 48565874654837564857425873568275683576285746438754685746582376248572465
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